U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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