You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
