I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
