If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
