no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
