Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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