Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
