Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
