Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
