I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
