why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
