Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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