So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
