she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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