It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
