im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
