Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
