It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
