my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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