His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
