I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize