We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
