Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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