I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
