its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize