Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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