"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
