It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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