It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
