I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
