you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
