Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
