It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
