She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
