At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
