do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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