Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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