Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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