I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
