She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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