I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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