Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
