Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
