Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
