You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
