youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
