hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
