Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize