So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
