You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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