Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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