I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
