SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
