I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
