have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
