He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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