I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
